<?php
/**
 * <https://y.st./>
 * Copyright © 2017 Alex Yst <mailto:copyright@y.st>
 * 
 * This program is free software: you can redistribute it and/or modify
 * it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by
 * the Free Software Foundation, either version 3 of the License, or
 * (at your option) any later version.
 * 
 * This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,
 * but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
 * MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the
 * GNU General Public License for more details.
 * 
 * You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License
 * along with this program. If not, see <https://www.gnu.org./licenses/>.
**/

$xhtml = array(
	'title' => 'I have no dating pool whatsoever.',
	'body' => <<<END
<section id="general">
	<h2>General news</h2>
	<p>
		It seems my coworker that was looking for a friend doesn&apos;t seem to understand email address format.
		They lost my address and had me give it to them again, so I again wrote my name and email address on some scrap paper.
		They seemed to think my name was part of the address or something.
		I ... don&apos;t know what else to say without sounding insulting, but if you&apos;re reading this, you probably understand what I was thinking.
	</p>
	<p>
		A customer came into the shop wearing a shirt reading &quot;SORRY, NOT EVERYONE CAN BE ME&quot;.
		Indeed.
		Why can&apos;t I be them?
		They&apos;re probably not going to end up living forever lonely and dying alone.
		Compared to me, they have it made.
	</p>
	<p>
		My <a href="/a/canary.txt">canary</a> still sings the tune of freedom and transparency.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="mental">
	<h2>Mental health watch</h2>
	<p>
		I looked at the test image again.
		This time, the silhouette spun counter-clockwise for a bit.
		I got excited that my left brain was active enough to perceive the image that way, but that cause the image to go back to spinning clockwise.
		Excitement is an emotion, so it boosted the level of activity in my right brain.
		This is a step forward though.
		My handedness experiment is probably having a little bit of an effect already.
	</p>
	<p>
		In all honesty, I don&apos;t think this will undo my sexuality.
		I <strong>*want*</strong> it to, but it won&apos;t.
		I do need to get my logical side to put my emotional side in better check than it&apos;s been in, but unless I completely eliminate my emotional side, I&apos;ll likely continue to have romantic and sexual urges.
		I can&apos;t break myself free of this.
		I&apos;m stuck this way.
	</p>
	<p>
		This really sucks; I&apos;ll be lonely forever because I&apos;m gay and vegan.
		Finding someone even close to compatible with me will be next to impossible.
		I talked to the only other gay vegan I know about how he finds a date, and he doesn&apos;t find vegans.
		He says most vegans, even heterosexual ones, can&apos;t find a vegan partner.
		I wonder how hard it would be to bring myself to settle for a vegan woman ... that still leave my dating pool containing almost no one though, so it&apos;s not like knowing if I&apos;d settle even matters.
		For a bit, I even considered giving up veganism.
		Can you believe it?
		I can&apos;t do that though.
		The deal that I made was that I could allow myself to explore my new-found sexuality, but as long as I remain lucid, I can&apos;t do unnecessary harm.
		I don&apos;t have to do the most good possible at the expense of happiness, but I can&apos;t engage in actions that I know to be wrong.
		The planet is dying, and non-veganism, especially non-vegan diets, are a huge part of the cause.
		It&apos;s better that I be lonely than that I be a horrid person.
	</p>
	<p>
		I&apos;ve found I&apos;m incredibly comfortable saying I&apos;m gay if it comes up in conversation.
		Seeking comfort food and having been sent a well-timed coupon, I stopped in at subway.
		Based on my order, the employee guessed I&apos;m vegan and said that was cool.
		I mentioned that it makes dating impossible though, and they found that hard to believe.
		I said between being vegan and being gay, my dating pool is almost nil.
		I guess that wasn&apos;t the intuitive place that conversation would head, but it is what&apos;s on my mind right now.
	</p>
	<p>
		I&apos;ve never been one to try to change people.
		I&apos;m not that type of person.
		I&apos;m not judgemental and I feel ethics are subjective.
		I wonder though if I could convince an existing gay man to go vegan.
		I could date non-vegans, and eventually, my relationship with one of them might progress pretty far.
		There&apos;d come a point I want us to move in together.
		I&apos;d have to resist this feeling if I felt it before my boyfriend.
		There&apos;d come a point my boyfriend would want us to move in together, and would bring it up.
		At this point, I&apos;d have to explain that I can&apos;t live in a non-vegan home.
		He&apos;d try to change or he&apos;d leave me.
		This is a lot for me to ask of someone though.
		If I&apos;m requiring someone to bend this much, I have to be willing to bend at least as much.
		What would I do to find love?
		I want to support his causes like he supports mine (or at least like he supports this one cause), but what what if it&apos;s not support in activism that my boyfriend needs?
		What if it&apos;s Windows tech support or something?
		Would I be willing to help my boyfriend succeed in doing something I&apos;m completely opposed to?
	</p>
	<p>
		I worry I&apos;ll never be able to love or be loved.
		I always knew I would die alone.
		The only difference is that before, I welcomed it.
		Maybe though, veganism will turn out to be the ultimate test of love for my partner.
		Would he give up animal products just to be with me?
		Also, maybe I don&apos;t need to know now what I&apos;d give in to for my partner just yet.
		Whatever I need to do to make our relationship work, that will be my test in turn.
		Do I really love him enough?
		Maybe it&apos;s better that my veganism make being with me difficult.
		Then again, maybe I&apos;m just rationalising.
		It will make it so much harder to find love, but maybe once I find it (if I even find it), it&apos;ll feel to me like I&apos;m loved even more, regardless of whether I actually am or not.
	</p>
	<p>
		Before work, I visited the second-hand store next door and tried to buy a sundress.
		I was too nervous though.
		Honestly, no one would care, but I felt like they&apos;d think me a freak.
		That said, I <strong>*am*</strong> a freak.
		I should welcome and embrace that fact; it&apos;s an intrinsic part of who I am.
		I&apos;m not like most people, and that&apos;s fine.
		Overcoming my fear of what others think of me will be vital to finding happiness in life.
	</p>
	<p>
		As I look back, I think I&apos;ve harmed my capacity to properly process language.
		I often find myself pausing mid-sentence when I speak to come up with the next word.
		I don&apos;t recall it always being that way though.
		... stupid left-hand experiment ...
		I doubt there&apos;s any permanent damage, that&apos;d just be bizarre, but I really hope resetting myself to my natural hand preference will return things to normal.
		Once my left brain is again dominant, I don&apos;t see why this problem would persist.
		The language centre is on the left, after all.
	</p>
	<p>
		I was thinking about <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs">Maslow&apos;s hierarchy of needs</a> again today.
		When I first moved out, I was scared, but also very excited.
		It was a thrill to be somewhat distant from the force that had plagued me for so long.
		Now though, there is no thrill.
		This is just ... how life is.
		This is what it feels like to feel secure.
		I&apos;ve never formed any real bonds with anyone, and this is why.
		It must be.
		And now, I can actually feel the void that&apos;s always been there.
		This really sucks.
		August can&apos;t come soon enough.
		It&apos;s almost certain I won&apos;t find a partner then, but if I can overcome my insecurities and approach people, I might make a number of friends around the area.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="university">
	<h2>University life</h2>
	<p>
		It&apos;s been great having other students address me as Alex instead of my birth name in the course forums.
		I&apos;m still confused as to why they address me at all though.
		Due to the format of the board, it&apos;s obvious which student is being replied to, so there&apos;s no need to address them by name at the beginning of one&apos;s reply.
	</p>
	<p>
		I finished up my discussion assignment for the week:
	</p>
	<blockquote>
		<p>
			My understanding of abstract data types is that they don&apos;t include an implementation.
			Rather, they&apos;re an idea of what the data needs to be and what operations it needs to have performed on it, without any actual code that tells how the data is stored or how the operations are performed.
			The idea itself can&apos;t be used in the code though, it needs to be implemented.
			In the case of using an array to implement a stack for example, no actual class is needed.
			However, using a wrapper class around the array allows it to be more-easily swapped out for a different implementation, for example, one that uses a linked list.
		</p>
	</blockquote>
	<blockquote>
		<p>
			The examples of abstract data types in the textbook didn&apos;t use interfaces.
			However, I completely agree that that&apos;s how they <strong>*should*</strong> have been implemented.
			When building implementations of an abstract data type, using classes that implement an interface representing that abstract data type provides the most flexibility and modularity.
		</p>
	</blockquote>
	<blockquote>
		<p>
			Well-designed modules can certainly be modified without altering the rest of the program.
			They have other great strengths too.
			They can be swapped out for similar modules, or the same module can be used in several applications without modifying the module.
			This allows for code reuse, and thus less duplication of effort.
		</p>
	</blockquote>
	<blockquote>
		<p>
			Division of labour is a great example of the benefits of modularity that I hadn&apos;t considered.
			Updating existing code is also much easier when only a single subroutine needs to be updated to make a fix in several areas of the program that depend on it.
			How does this all relate to abstract data types though?
		</p>
	</blockquote>
</section>
END
);
